Another Year, Another Hospital Stay

Yesterday I got home from a 7 day stay in the hospital because my j-pouch twisted. Yep, you read correctly, it twisted. Yet another anomaly that I get to experience. My docs were able to untwist it but I'm still not feeling normal, so we'll see how things go. Surgery to tack down my pouch will probably be in my near future. Le sigh. Anyway, those who have been lucky enough to stay in the hospital know how much it sucks and while I was there I created my list of the suckiest things about staying in the hospital. Here goes:

  1. People staring at you like you're an alien when you walk the halls.
  2. Docs and nurses watching/waiting for you outside the door while you are going to the bathroom - can you say performance anxiety?
  3. For the next year, every time you see someone, "How are you doing?", "You look good", and my personal favorite "Your color looks good".
  4. Feeling dirty and disgusting
  5. Everyone you know, plus their friends and family, plus their friends and family, ect. knowing your business.
  6. Feeling like you are part of some science experiment gone wrong when all the docs are standing over your bed.
  7. Which is worse? NPO or cafeteria food?
  8. "Have you had a BM yet today?" "Yes" "Next time don't flush I want to see". Is there any question as to why I kept "conveniently" forgetting to do this? Yuck.
  9. IV lipids
  10. Being woken up every few hours for vitals, IV fluid changes, yatta, yatta, yatta.
  11. NG tubes

Needless to say, I'm still a little bitter :-)