How To Combat The "Why Me's"

If you have a chronic illness or suffer from chronic pain, you have no doubt asked yourself “why me?” at least once…or more likely, a hundred times. I know I have. This question usually comes when you are not feeling well, when things aren’t going as you planned, or when you are in pain. It is something that is hard to move past. It can be frustrating and all-consuming at times. It can be depressing and can provoke anxiety. Here are a few tips that I hope will help.

1. Learn to accept that you may never get an answer. For the majority of us, there is no answer to “why me?”. Unfortunately sometimes things just happen. Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean “it’s okay”. I’m not asking you to say that it is okay that you have an illness or pain. When I talk about acceptance, I mean being able to make necessary adjustments in your life, learning your new normal, and learning that despite your chronic illness or pain you can still be happy. Learning to accept that you may never get an answer to why this happened to you will be a process. It is not something that will happen overnight. You may want to resist it and that’s alright. It is not fair that this happened to you but with some hard work, dedication and a little reorganization of priorities, it is possible to be happy and to accept not having an answer to “why me?”

2. Find meaning. Ask yourself what good could come out of your situation. I guarantee that if you are open to that question, if you take the time to think about it, and if you are honest with yourself, you will likely come up with at least one positive thing that has come out of all the bad. For me, the meaning in my situation is that I am able to counsel others with chronic illness and chronic pain. It is what I love to do and I have been able to take my own experiences and knowledge and help others. For you it doesn’t have to be something as big as a career decision. It may be something as simple as the fact that you now have more compassion for others, you don’t judge people as quickly as you used to, or that your illness or pain has taught you to appreciate the small things in life.

3. Find a passion for something. Try to focus your attention on something other than “why me?”. Find a hobby or a passion that will make you happy and take your mind off of “why me?”. It is okay if the question comes into your mind once in a while. When it is constant or interrupts your quality of life, your focus, or your happiness, that is a problem. Finding something that brings you joy will help you to cope.

4. Find support. You are not alone. As I stated above, the majority of us with a chronic illness or chronic pain have asked ourselves “why me?”. If you find that you are having difficulty with this question, find support, either with friends, family, a support group, or a therapist. Talking about what you are thinking and feeling can help greatly.

The Psychological Epidemic in Patients with Gastrointestinal Diseases: Help is Needed for Patients Suffering from Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Stress and Anxiety

I don't know how many of you have read about the suicide of Aaron Swartz. While their may have been many factors that lead to his decision to take his life, many of the articles written about him mentioned the fact that he had ulcerative colitis and that this may have contributed to his depression. After I read some of these articles I couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided to put my thoughts into words. Below is the link to an article I wrote about the psychological problems many people with gastrointestinal problems face. While suicide is a drastic measure, it is not unheard of.

If you cannot open the link directly, please copy and paste it into your browser.

http://voices.yahoo.com/the-psychological-epidemic-patients-gastrointestinal-12196127.html?cat=5

PTSD After J-Pouch Surgery

I have come across so many people, clients and others, who have experienced PTSD after the J-pouch surgeries that I felt it was time to finally write about it. This is not intended to scare anyone who may be facing these surgeries. I think that in these circumstances it is best to be prepared from all angles about what may or may not happen before, during and after these surgeries. Being prepared is the best defense because then you can deal with it before it becomes a problem.

When people think about PTSD, the first thing that usually pops into their heads is that it is something that war veteran’s experience. But really take a look at what PTSD stands for: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. So it can happen after experiencing any kind of traumatic event…and from my own experiences and from those of the many people I’ve talked to who have had these surgeries, they can definitely be traumatic, especially if you’re not well prepared. Unfortunately, PTSD, depression, anxiety, and all the other crazy emotions that a lot of people feel during and after these surgeries is not something that any doctors to my knowledge talk about…at all. They only talk about the medical side of it, which I get because they’re medical doctors, but at least a mention of the potential emotions that one might experience would be helpful!

So what does this PTSD look like? Mostly, it’s the anxiety and fear of getting sick again and having to go through anything remotely similar to what has already been experienced. I wouldn’t say that I’ve had full on PTSD after my surgeries, but I definitely experience some parts of it. The fear of getting sick again, having to go back to the hospital again or going through another surgery can be terrifying sometimes. Also, being away from my doctors can be really scary. I recently got back from an almost 2 week trip to Europe. The anxiety and fear of something going wrong while I was away and not being able to see my doctors was so overwhelming that I almost didn’t want to go. Another symptom of PTSD after these surgeries is flashbacks. A lot of people that I’ve talked to say that sometimes out of the blue they will have flashbacks of a certain time while in the hospital or during recovery and that it brings back all the emotions they were feeling at the time. Sometimes, just thinking back on everything you have gone through can be emotionally draining. For most people, the period of time from when they were sick enough to need the surgeries until after the takedown is kind of like a “do or die” situation. Nothing else matters during that time other than getting through it and getting healthy again. So for a lot of people, dealing with emotions at that time is just not an option. They just need to be focused on getting through it. So after the takedown, when things are finally starting to get a little bit back to normal, these emotions can come on like a flood…uncontrollable and overwhelming.

So for those of you who have experienced PTSD or are experiencing it after your surgeries know that you are not alone and that this is completely normal. The best thing to do is to find someone to talk to about all the feelings you are experiencing. That way you can find a way to cope with your feelings, accept what has happened, and live your life again. For those of you who may be facing these surgeries, please don’t let this scare you. It is better to be prepared going into the surgeries so that you are better equipped to deal with these emotions if they arise. Even after all the things I’ve dealt with during and after my surgeries, I would still recommend the J-pouch surgeries to anyone. They were life-saving and they have only made me stronger.

Anxiety and Inflammatory Bowel Disease: How to Cope

Anxiety...if you have Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) you probably know this word very well. It's the feeling of having to worry about whether the bathrooms will be accessible everywhere you go. It's the feeling of not wanting to leave the house for fear of having an accident in public. It's the feeling of urgency that comes right before you have to run to the bathroom. It's the feeling of wondering when the next flare is going to rear its ugly head. Feelings of anxiety are hard to get away from when you have IBD, especially during a flare. Here are a few tips to help reduce that anxiety...even if just a little bit.

Check out the rest of my article at...

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8116483/anxiety_and_inflammatory_bowel_disease.html